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Audio Books : Self-help : MP3/192Kbps : English
New Technologies of Psychology Show You
How to Conquer Shyness, Get Rid of Your Nervousness, Fears, and Anxieties With Women -
The Secrets to Build BULLETPROOF Self-Confidence & Emotional Self-Control...
Finally, you can learn hidden mental 'Martial Arts' techniques to renew and rebuild your ultimate, rock-solid inner game...
Skyrocket your success with women, increase your social circle, and get rid of your anxious fears once and for all...
FROM: Carlos Xuma
Thursday - 8:54 PM
Dear Friend,
Confidence is the number one concern for every guy I've ever met.
Women want it from us, and guys spend most of their lives working on feeling it and showing it. And when you don't feel confident, your life just doesn't feel right.
Have you ever felt:
...like you're destroying your chances with women because you don't have the level of self-confidence you need?
...like you're barely maintaining your level of confidence with women - and sometimes you feel like you're actually back-sliding in your game?
...like your emotions and your feelings make you do crazy things - stuff you can't seem to control?
I know I have, and it's not a fun way to live...
And the worst part of this feeling is that NO ONE in your life ever sat you down and explained just how confidence really works, did they?
You never got a book from your parents on "how to be confident and more sure of yourself." And I know you didn't have a class in school that told you "How to Be Confident With Women."
Most guys have to learn by trial and error.
And more error.
And a lot more error.
Well, stick with me, because there's something else you need to know about how confidence REALLY works.
First, let me ask you this:
Have you ever messed things up with a woman you really liked?
Have you ever approached a woman, only to have her not respond to you at all? Did you ever feel like you were invisible to women?
Have you ever had a girlfriend you adored, but your level of insecurity and low self-confidence seemed to doom you to the same outcome - certain breakup?
Have you ever walked up to talk to a woman and had her start out smiling and interested, but she gradually seemed to lose interest, eventually turning back to her friends and ignoring you until you walked away?
Have you ever lost your emotional cool around a woman, only to feel out of control around her, and then she lost interest and attraction in you because you couldn't stay relaxed...?
Have you ever felt like your jealousy takes control over your head and your heart, even when the woman you liked wasn't even dating you yet?
Have you ever been out with a group of friends, and you felt compelled to try to be the "life of the party," because you thought the "alpha" of the group had to be the loudest, the funniest, and the one with the coolest banter?
Have you ever felt like you were 'possessed' to pick up the phone, or tell a woman your feelings, or "share your emotions" with her, only to find out that you scared her away with your gesture? It was like you knew with your brain that you should stay in control, but your emotions completely took control of you...
Have you ever been in a social situation where you felt like you couldn't keep up with the conversation, or really "hang in there" and be very fun, mostly because you were too busy watching your own behavior - trying NOT to screw things up or say the wrong thing?
If you've ever had ANY of these things happen to you, you know that your level of "inner game" - or your self-confidence and "emotional intelligence" - was the one thing you wish you had more of.
If you could just control your fear and your anxieties, all those crazy emotions that make us do things that don't even feel like us, you know that you could improve your success ratio with women. I know how shaky I used to feel with women, and knowing it was my inner confidence holding me back.
And the worst part of this for me was knowing that - not only was it ME doing this to myself - but the fact that...
Feeling Out of Control is Probably the Most Frustrating Experience for Men...
I think that every guy has had that feeling - almost like being possessed - where you just can't seem to control your emotions, or your own behavior. You know what you SHOULD be doing, but when you try to do it, there's this invisible force that stops you.
This was one of my biggest challenges. I had a bad temper, and I could barely control myself when I was around an attractive girl. I would start acting up - just like a little bratty kid. I could even SEE myself doing it, and KNOWING that it was killing my chances with this girl... but I just couldn't help myself.
And then I went on this massive inner game "quest" I guess you could call it. I wanted to figure out how to get control of my confidence, my emotions, and my crazy mind.
What is Inner Game?
Well, it's a pretty fancy term for some of our most important traits as a man.
Inner Game includes things like:
Self-confidence - Being cool, not needy, and self-reliant...
Controlling your fears and emotions - Not losing control and becoming a train wreck when you are put in situations that are unfamiliar or charged...
Control of your thinking - Not getting caught in your head and stuck in your own thinking... being present-moment focused... Having inner awareness and self-control...
Getting rid of anxiety and nervousness - Feeling relaxed and calm in any social situation... Having good social skills...
Self-esteem - Feeling good about yourself and liking yourself... Being able to handle criticism and the negative opinions of others... Not needing their approval all the time...
Inner Game can also mean many more things to you. Here are some of the different definitions that guys have told me over the years:
Inner Game is: Knowing that a woman has certain expectations of you that you need to live up to...
Inner Game is: Being relaxed and natural with women, and not having to "fake it to make it" all the time...
Inner Game is: Knowing you've "got the goods" when it comes to having value to give to a woman - in conversation, as well as in your lifestyle...
Inner Game is: Not feeling awkward around women or in social situations...
Inner Game is: Keeping conversations with women interesting and going where you want them to go - without ending up as another shoulder to cry on...
Inner Game is: Getting past your flaws and frustrations once and for all...
Inner Game is: Being able to take the risks you always wanted to...
Inner Game is: Managing the peaks and valleys of your confidence level as it goes up and down...
Inner Game is: Making things you've already learned about women and all the pieces fall into place quicker...
Inner Game is: Not feeling disappointed by women and relationships from the past...
Inner Game is: Bouncing back from failures and rejections... and not taking them personally...
Inner Game is: Staying true to yourself and your identity - not compromising your values and morals just to get women or get ahead in life...
Inner Game is: Overcoming your own internal conflicts...
Inner Game is: Awareness and knowing yourself inside and out...
Inner Game is: Having a strong grip on your own reality - and not getting caught off guard, no matter what comes your way!
Inner Game is: Being the dominant ALPHA of the group instead of the guy who can't get a word in edgewise in the conversation...
Inner Game is: Stop being so attached to the outcome and just be present-moment focused, having fun and staying out of your head...
Inner Game is: Knowing that whatever happens in life, you will prevail and come out on top!
You Can Get All The Phone Numbers And Dates You Want...
If You Don't Have Inner Game, They Won't Go
Beyond "Let's Just Be Friends..."
I see a lot of guys learning the "48 Second Technique To Get A Woman's Phone Number." Yeah, great stuff, until you realize that this will not guarantee you:
- get her to answer the phone, or...
- get a date with her, or...
- that she'll be attracted to you, or...
- that you will be able to escalate physically with her.
In fact, getting a phone number is only the START of the game.
If you don't have the confidence and psychology mastered in advance, you probably won't even get past the approach - IF you even approach her at all.
And sometimes that knowledge will be enough to give guys approach anxiety right away.
Just imagine what you could do if you knew you wouldn't be shaken up or rattled by a beautiful woman's attitude...
What do you need to feel in order to
get your "Inner Game" handled?
Ultimately, it really boils down to a feeling of control over your own life.
You don't want to feel like other people control your success with women. And you sure as hell don't want to feel like you can't control your own success with women.
Let me ask you something...
You ever try using a line on a woman and have it fall flat - like, dead embarrassing silence flat on its face?
I have, too.
I coach and talk to guys every day that learn a lot of techniques and "lines" to use on women, but they don't seem to work for them.
Why don't techniques and routines work?
Usually because of the level of self-esteem and self confidence of the guy using them.
And, in reality, just by using another guy's lines and words, you're sending a subtle message to your self-esteem that the only thing you can do to attract women is NOT be yourself. And that doesn't increase a guy's inner game.
But Don't You Need Techniques and "Outer Game" Stuff To Attract Women?
YES! You do need them.
And that's why I teach those, too.
I know a lot of guys that would tell you that you don't need techniques - that if you have the inner game confidence, then your outer game is automatic.
Well, that's not always true.
I'm sure you've felt confidence walking up to a woman and found that your tongue was tied and your head got all foggy the second you tried to say something. And I bet it killed your confidence quick, too, didn't it?
So, yes, you absolutely need the techniques and conversational strategies that I teach.
BUT the fact is that you simply cannot run completely on "Outer Game" scripts either - on techniques and routines - all by themselves. Otherwise you end up with game that looks like this:
This is what you don't want...
See that small area where "inner game" and "outer game" intersect? That's weak, wussy game that women can detect a mile away. And thanks to television shows and "pickup artist" stuff, women know all about the routines and openers you use.
That gray outer game bubble is weak and tiny because you're forced to "fake" a lot more than you should have to. And it doesn't take much to pop that bubble.
Now, just imagine what would happen when your Inner Game and your Outer Game are complete and congruent.
Your game would look like THIS:
Big difference, huh?
And let's face it, no one ever explains to you how your mind works - or teaches you how to control and manage your emotions and thoughts.
I went through all 12 grades of regular school, and another 6 years of college, and I never once did a teacher tell me how to be more confident. (Especially when I was just a young boy and I needed it the most!)
NOBODY teaches us this stuff. We're supposed to just "figure it out" all on our own.
It's like looking for a needle in a haystack - of needles!
Let Me Tell You a Story...
I had this girlfriend. Her name was Christina, and I was really into her. She was tall, thin, red hair, and a hot body that just drove me crazy...
Well, that was the problem.
We had been dating about 3 months when I started feeling myself go down that old familiar road of "You're Messing This Up!" You know, when you can't believe you're worthy of this girl, and then you start acting like you're not worthy?
And then along comes "Mr. Self-sabotage..."
First I got drunk at her high school reunion, then I started doing those typical self-destructive things, like calling her too much, and going over to see her all the time.
The bad part was I knew I was being needy and insecure, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. It was like I had a voice in my head telling me that I was messing this up, but I couldn't help but keep doing it!
And then I went and got jealous of how much time she was spending with her other friends. I remember calling her six times one night to tell her how I'd "figured out where I made my mistake" and I was going to change right away.
...And then she told me we needed to take a "break."
OUCH.
In the end, I got dumped. Big time.
This one you might relate to: I was dating another girl, Shelly, for a couple months.
One night I went over to pay her a surprise visit. (Guess who got surprised?)
She wasn't home when I got there, so I waited in the parking lot for her.
Until about 3:00 AM, when I finally realized she was staying the night somewhere else...
With someone else.
BIG ouch.
I fell into a deep depression after all this and went to go see a therapist. It was over 8 months before I got out of it completely.
Yeah, it was BAD. I feel a little sick just talking about it right now.
But There Is A Happy Ending To The Story...
During this time, I finally found the skills I needed to overcome my emotional issues.
I realized that getting my self-confidence and self-control was the key to taking care of 90% of my issues in my personal life, AND my dating life.
I figured out how I was driving away the women in my life. And I figured out how to hang out with people and just be a cool guy to be with.
It was like getting out of a walk-in freezer to go outside into bright, warm sunshine.
Even better was this sense inside that I could finally RELAX, you know? Stop making all this stuff such a priority and just be able to chill out and not be a nervous head case everywhere I went.
Women Can Read Your Inner Game Like Nobody Else Can...
Something I noticed is that women can be the most irrational creatures on the planet - and they can also read a man's level of confidence better than anyone else.
She knows when you're approaching her and feeling nervous and can barely say your name...
She knows when your self-confidence is in the crapper because of your last breakup...
She knows when you suddenly start needing her approval because you're feeling "shaky" in the other areas of your life...
She just knows this stuff, and as annoying as it is to have a woman that can read you, it has the ultimate effect of keeping us honest.
Have you ever heard someone tell you that women want "confident" guys?
Only about a milion times, probably.
Well, the last thing you need is to feel like your game is being destroyed by a woman that can see right through you.
What they say is true...
Fix Your Inner Game And Everything Else
Really Does Take Care of Itself
Something else I discovered as I was coaching men and teaching them some of the secrets of ultimate inner game was that when a guy would finally get focused on the right parts of his personality and his self-improvement, he got good with women.
And I mean SCARY good.
And he usually had no idea WHY this was happening, either.
He'd find that he was not only able to be more relaxed and "in the moment" with women," but he was also able to just come up with the perfect things to say in any situation.
What was happening was that he was unlocking his own Natural Game.
What is "Natural Game"?
Well, quite simply, it's the kind of game a guy has when he's not trying to be someone else. He's comfortable in his own skin, and it shows.
He's not using pickup artist material. He's not being sneaky or trying to hypnotize women with "trance words."
He's just tuned into his own natural ability. All guys have it, but our inner game doesn't come with an instruction book, so we spend years and years trying to figure out how it's supposed to work.
Take This Quick Inner Game Quiz:
Answer each of these questions in your head and add up all the ones you answer "YES" to...
Do you feel confident everywhere else, but when you're with a woman you really want it all disappears?
Are you confident with certain women, but the 9s and 10s leave you speechless and nervous?
Are you ever intimidated by trying to date younger, more attractive women?
Do you have trouble handling the other more aggressive guys out there?
Do you feel invisible to women? Do you feel like beautiful women shake you up?
Do you intellectually know that sex with a woman won't really solve all your problems, but you still feel driven to pursue it at all costs?
Do you ever feel "stuck" in your head? Do you feel like you think more about things than you should?
Do you frequently feel indecisive? Anxious? Nervous? So much that it's holding you back from doing things other people seem to have no problem with?
Do you know that your knowledge and experience needs to be put to work in the real world, but you can't seem to find those steps to "connect the dots" to get started?
Do you just want to feel comfortable in your own skin? And authentic to who you are?
Do you want to be able to express your feelings and true personality? Free from being judged by other people's critical eye?
Do you want to feel like the "prize" that a woman is desperate to win?
If you answered 4 or more questions "YES" in the quiz above, you're like 85-90% of the guys I've worked with - and you're completely NORMAL.
The problem is that most other guys out there would never admit it, so you end up feeling like the weird and "insecure" one.
The secret truth that guys don't know is that most men out there are playing the "fake it" game with their inner game and self-confidence. In fact, 80% or more of the guys that you think of as "very confident" are probably even MORE anxious in their heads than you would believe.
Most guys are "faking it" with women.
First, here's another little secret for you:
Natural Game Is What You Have When You Finally Master Your Inner Game...
Every one of the guys that I've coached to get their inner game together has made the discovery that his game with women comes easily and naturally when he finds his confidence.
He also finds that:
Conversation comes easy. There are no more uncomfortable silences...
The sting of rejection disappears. Your identity is no longer in her hands...
Women can no longer make you feel inadequate, or hurt your feelings...
You still have that same sense of excitement and thrill when you see an attractive women you want to meet, but you don't feel the invisible grip of fear stopping you from going after her...
You no longer need any "lines" or routines with women. In fact, you start finding the perfect thing to say because you don't have to go out with a "full head" of stuff you never use...
Social situations become incredibly easy... you make friends wherever you go...
You stop losing your emotional cool around women, and you stop feeling like a puppet pulled around by the strings of jealousy and fear...
You feel comfortable and authentic when relating to people, and your anxiety and nervousness disappears...
Your Inner Game Can Mess Up Your Social Life, Too...
Have you ever been out trying to meet people and have fun, or maybe you were just hanging around your friends, and you couldn't seem to feel like you were "IN" the conversation? They seemed to have their little "clique" with each other, but they didn't seem to want to connect with you, no matter how hard you tried.
The fact is that your level of inner confidence also affects how successful you are with your social life and social network, too.
But, the same as dating, your "natural social game" comes automatically when your inner game is feeling solid and stable.
So what are the most important parts of your inner game to work on?
Here Are The 6 Key Areas Of
A Man's Core Inner Game
Now I'm going to share with you the 6 key areas of inner game that a man must understand and master. When you have these taken care of, you'll find that the others just take care of themselves...
1. SELF-CONFIDENCE & SELF-ESTEEM
This is one that is probably tops on every guy's list of things he wants to improve.
We want to be confident and secure, and we want to really like who we are as a person. There's really no greater thing to aspire to in our lives.
But HOW do you improve it? It's not one of those things that anyone ever teaches you in school. Heck, even my own dad didn't teach me this when I was growing up and getting picked on by other kids. My parents would tell me to just "not let it bother me." What good is that?
Well, while I was doing some research for this article I found a bunch of news reports about how your self-esteem is pretty much connected to everything in your life - like:
Your level of income...
The amount of satisfaction you get from your frienships...
Your health - including how often you get sick - and how long you will live...
Your job security...
Your happiness...
The relationship you have with your family...
Isn't it amazing how one psychological factor - your self-confidence - can account for such a HUGE part of a man's life?
2. SELF-DISCIPLINE & EMOTIONAL CONTROL
This is what I wished I'd had when I found myself calling my ex in the middle of the night, or waiting out in that girl's parking lot for 6 hours for her to come home from her other boyfriend.
Self-discipline is that ability to say what you should when you know you should, and - more importantly - keeping your mouth shut when you ought to just be quiet.
Emotional control is one of those things every guy wants when he has a woman that likes to "push his buttons."
And it's something we ABSOLUTELY need when a woman starts testing us. You ever feel your panic start to rise when a woman asks you a test question like, "Do you have a girlfriend?"
A woman's ultimate decision about how she feels about you always comes down to how you control your emotions at a few key and critical moments.
Will you know what to do when the time comes?
The next area of inner game that you have to know is...
3. HOW TO GET RID OF OLD, SELF-DEFEATING BEHAVIORS
You might also call this "How to Change Yourself" - without the burnout and frustration.
This is another skill that no one ever taught us: How to change.
I was brought up in a family that didn't ever seem to change. My dad smoked like a chimney, and he tried EVERYTHING you can imagine to quit. From acupuncture to hypnotism. He kept smoking until the day he died.
My uncle was always getting crappy jobs, drinking like a fish, and doing more drugs than most of the rock bands I was listening to. I listened to his lame excuses for his behavior, and I heard about him trying to rehab every week.
He's in his fifties now and he still hasn't changed. Not ONE BIT.
It's discouraging seeing so many people who never seem to change.
But then I saw other people in my life changing their lives around. I had friends that quit smoking and became respectable and successful.
So I had to figure out what it was that made them different, and why they were able to change when others didn't.
And not just the secret of how to kick one bad habit, because that could just be a fluke. I wanted to know how to change or improve whatever I wanted so that I could be the man I wanted to be.
This is the essence of personal change, and it's one of the most essential skills of inner game to learn. Because without it, you'll never be able to make the others work for you.
The belief and ability to change is crucial to any Alpha Man's skills, as is his sense of...
4. MASCULINITY
Look, as guys, we know that losing our hair doesn't mean one bit of difference to who we really are as men. After all, there isn't a special nerve connection from your scalp to the "confidence center" of your brain, so it shouldn't mean anything to us, right?
Wrong!
The way we feel about our appearance impacts our level of self-esteem and how attractive we feel with women.
But why is it that you've seen some bald guys that get a TON of action from women, AND they are more confident than Tom Cruise. What's different about them?
Yup. It's that darn Inner Game again.
These guys know something different about themselves that stops them from seeing the missing hair as being a reason to feel like they are less attractive or less manly.
And they also have the ability to...
5. MANAGE ANXIETY & FEAR
This is one area that men don't like to talk about. I know I didn't.
Hey, what guy wants to admit that he's got a fear of women, or feels a sick, anxious knot of heat in the middle of his stomach when he walks up to talk to a woman?
But there are so many guys who run into the brick wall of their own emotions in many different situations.
It's not our fault!
Men simply are not brought up to manage or understand their emotions the same way women are. But emotional intelligence is the number one indicator of your level of happiness, life satisfaction, and ultimate level of success.
The skills to manage our internal state are also incredibly important for when we want to approach women, or when we want to move in for the kiss, or escalate things sexually with a woman.
And, funny enough, this also leads to...
6. SHYNESS & SOCIAL SKILLS
Wait, didn't I say "Inner Game" areas?
Yes, I did. And your social skills fit right into your inner game.
Here's how...
You ever been with a group of your friends when you crack a joke at the right time, you get some big laughs, and suddenly everyone warms up to you? You feel like you're one of the "cool people" in just one moment. You managed to change yourself from 'outsider' to 'insider' with just one quick social move.
Now, tell me that you wouldn't feel like 'The Man' right at that moment.
You would feel on top of the world, wouldn't you?
Your inner confidence increases massively from your OUTER experience.
And THAT is the big secret of inner game.
Your Inner Game does not improve without outer game techniques and successes that complete the circuit for you. Inner Game is like the positive terminal on a battery... you have all this potential, but nothing happens until you connect it to the negative terminal of your battery - your OUTER game.
And this is what I finally figured out after years of just trying to "read books" and "listen to tapes." Those methods don't work unless you get something practical you can use to really see and feel the change in your experience.
The Best News Is That You Don't Have To "CHANGE" Yourself...
Or FIGHT Yourself.
In fact, if you're trying to CHANGE yourself, you're probably not going to succeed.
The biggest mistake I found guys making was that they were working really hard to "change themselves." And as we all know, changing yourself is a very big task.
But that's only if you're doing it the WRONG WAY.
Let me ask you something - Have you ever heard of Aikido?
It's a very cool martial art.
Yeah, kung-fu, heeee-ya, and all that.
Basically, in this style, what you do is use your opponent's energy against himself. If he tries to hit you, you just step aside and redirect him into a wall, or a door, or down some stairs.
THUNK. Problem solved.
And you only used about 1/100th the energy to end the confrontation than he did to start it.
You might have seen Steven Segal in his movies use this style of fighting.
WHAP! The bad guy is thrown over a bar...
BLAM! The punk is tossed into a car windshield...
FLIP! The villain is launched into the exploding building...
And the hero hardly breaks a sweat.
Well, the brilliant part of the martial art of Aikido is that it's the best philosophy to use in just about every situation you can imagine. Verbal situations and social situations.
Very little energy and effort - and HUGE results.
Stay with me here - this is cool...
Because The Worst Thing You Can Do Is To FIGHT Your Own Self-Confidence... Instead, Work WITH IT.
A lot of guys I've met and coached in the past were always trying very hard to overcome their limitations and self-confidence issues by what I call "bulldogging" it.
Have you ever seen a bulldog get hold of a rag toy? It will chomp down and shake its head and tug and pull... It will usually pull the toy away from whoever is fighting with it.
But here's the real problem: The bulldog only has enough fight in him for a couple of those tug-of-war matches before he's all out of energy. Then it's all over for him.
Men are the same way.
If we take this "grit your teeth" attitude, we might win the first few rounds against our own self-confidence and self-esteem, but we usually just run out of energy and give up a short time later. We give up on our new habits just because they take too much energy to keep them going!
Enter The Dragon...
Well, not really the dragon, but something very much like it.
Whenever we fight the natual energy of a situation, we usually end up exhausted and beaten.
But when you go WITH it, you get much more done.
You may have heard the saying: "The reed that bends does not break."
Well, that's especially true with your confidence and self-esteem.
In fact - if you FIGHT your own natural tendencies, you will probably take MUCH longer to improve your inner game than if you just got it together. (And there are a lot you have that you might not even know about...)
Using the principles of Aikido on your inner game will make a HUGE difference in your results. And it's this philosophy that allowed me to realize how to get past my own limitations...
Here Are The Two Huge Realizations That Released My Stuck Brakes...
The unfortunate fact is that most guys like you and me want to improve our confidence and Alpha game, but there is so much junk out there that it's like panning for gold in a mountain stream.
TONS of work with very little payoff.
This is why most guys end up bored, frustrated - and they quit. And then they end up settling for less in their lives.
They fight long and hard to get very little results.
All because they didn't have the understanding of "Aikido" for their inner game.
Here are the BIG realizations I discovered about my inner game...
My Big Realization #1: If I got just ONE thing out of a book or program that helped me, it was worth any amount of money.
I mean, if some tip helped me get even just a little bit more confident, it was worth the work to find it. It's just like rock climbing - if you find just one place to hold onto that's a bit further up, the next one is now probably within your reach.
Every little bit counts.
I even stopped whining that this or that book/tape wasn't worth the money, and I'd keep everything I got - knowing that there was always at least one secret in it that would help my game.
And I found a LOT of secrets over the years.
And then I had...
My Big Realization #2: My brain is tricking me and doesn't help me most of the time.
Have you ever been in a moving vehicle, like a car or a train, and you've been riding along for a few minutes. And then you come to a stop, but for some reason it still feels like you're still moving?
It's just like those "optical illusions" you see in books, where your brain can be tricked by a simple pattern on a piece of paper.
Well, I realized after many years of struggling, that my own mind was tricking me in a lot of ways. Like making me think that what other people were thinking of me was good or bad - or that it really mattered at all.
Once I finally understood WHY I thought these things, and - more importantly - what I should be focusing on, I stopped feeling so self-conscious with women and in social groups.
And finally...
My Big Realization #3: If I re-read a book, or listened to a program again, I'd always find 2 or 3 more great strategies that I could use that I didn't hear the first time.
Usually a lot more than that!
I must have read 200 books and listened to another hundred tapes and CDs on self-development. I went through everything I could find out there.
Not everything I read was new to me. In fact, the reality is that most of that stuff only had a couple nuggets of pure gold in them. But inevitably I'd read a book and find one or more new concepts or techniques that really grabbed me.
The funny thing was that those new things I found were there before, but my mind just wasn't ready to find them the first time around. I mean, there were some really incredible insights in there just waiting to be found...
But then I thought, who has the time to go through hundreds and hundreds of hours of programs over and over again like I did?
I don't think anyone wants to "pan for gold" like that.
So after going through most of my notes, my workbooks, and journals, I decided to pull together all the stuff I had on this one topic of self-confidence and inner game into something that any guy could use - and not have to spend months and years learning.
Wouldn't It Be Cool If You Could Compact Months and Years Of Self-Help Work Into Just A Fraction Of The Time?
Look, the reality is that most people simply don't have the time or even the interest in reading hundreds of books and listening to countless hours of self-help programs like I did.
(Honestly, you get a little weird when you go off the deep end learning this kind of stuff. I was a bit strange...)
So I thought, wouldn't it be great if I could just pull all the best tips, tactics, strategies, and techniques I had figured out over the years and just create one giant CONCENTRATED program.
A "super-program," if you like.
I wanted to give you only the skills you need most to conquer your "inner game" and throw out all the garbage and nonsense out there that doesn't work. (Because there's a lot of fluff in most of those programs out there.)
Just like concentrated soap, where a little goes a LONG way.
Well, it took me a few years, but I finally did it.
It's Time To Make a Deep Internal Shift -
A BREAKTHROUGH In Your Thinking...
Have you tried other programs in the past and had difficulties getting the information to "stick" with you?
Or you knew the information was valuable and could work, but you didn't have the "HOW" to do it?
I had the same experience with a lot of the books I read out there. What I discovered was that I wasn't able to keep up the new habits and skills they taught me.
Since I first wrote The Dating Black Book over 7 years ago, I've seen guys making the same mistakes over and over again. Whether it was in bootcamps or seminars, they would inevitably make the same classic error.
Once they saw what they were doing, they were able to get out of their own way and release the "emergency brake" on their energy and power with women. It was a lot like experiencing a giant Tesla coil with lightning arcing across a room.
Women stood up and took notice.
What Is The BIG Error That Most Guys Make?
The error was trying to substitute a "technique" or a "line" to cover up their feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, or nervousness.
What most guys don't realize or find out is that a lot of the "pickup artist" material out there doesn't work if your inner game is weak to begin with. In fact, it's downright damaging.
I'm sure you've seen or experienced this yourself. If you try to use a line on a woman and you don't have the attitude to back it up, she will cut you apart.
The tragedy of this situation is that most guys will never get the success they truly deserve with women... NOT because they are inadequate or can't "change" themselves, but because they don't understand how to use their natural abilities to master their emotions and their thinking.
Your biggest enemy in life is probably your own level of frustration and discouragement.
15 Years of Inner Game Techniques and Skills - Distilled Down to Just the Parts You Need...
I'm a bit of a weirdo...
I've got a passion for self-development and the whole "psychology of achievement" field. I've spent over 15 years reading books, listening to tapes, going to seminars and lectures, watching videos, and doing just about every crazy thing you can think of to stop my worrying and insecurity and self-confidence issues.
Yeah, I've done just about everything you can imagine (from therapists to witch doctors.) And I now know what really does work and what really does NOT work.
Have you ever wanted to know:
How to experience strong emotions like love and excitement - and still feel in control?
How to persist and keep going, even during those times when you're seeing little or no improvement?
How to avoid resenting women and feeling angry with them?
How to get what you want without feeling needy and insecure?
How to switch off that negative voice in your head that stops you from succeeding?
What it takes to use all the stuff you've learned, and keep from forgetting it or losing it?
Where to start and how to get past your own internal B.S.?
How to avoid feeling overwhelmed - and just know where to focus next to get yourself moving in the right direction?
How to make all the puzzle pieces of your game fit together - including that missing piece that you know is out there and will "click" everything into place?
How to remain consistent with your inner game, no matter where you are or who you are with?
How do you finally start to control that need to have people like you or care what they think about you?
How do you deal with the guys that challenge you or try to lower your status when you're out approaching and meeting women?
How to keep your Alpha Attitude and confidence, even when you're in a relationship? So you can keep her and not drive her off...?
How to be authentic and REAL instead of just another pickup artist clone?
How to avoid getting stuck in your head, and just get in-the-moment?
How your inner game gets communicated into your outer game?
How to stop TRYING and finally start DOING?
Now you can have the state-of-the-art techniques and secrets that I wish I'd found years ago...
My Ultimate Inner Game method shows you the recipes, techniques, tactics, strategies, secrets, tricks, and exercises that will get you un-stuck.
I'm not going to kid you. This home-study program is big - I didn't leave any stones unturned.
But my Ultimate Inner Game system is designed to start raising your overall confidence level in the first 24 hours after you start listening and using the information.
No weird affirmations and weak self-hypnosis, and nothing you can't put to use quickly and easily.
And it's not just good for getting women... It's good for EVERY area of your life you want to feel more confidence and power over your life.
And the best part is that once you conquer your Inner Game, you'll feel the kind of peace that buddhist monks will envy.
And then the rest of your life really will take care of itself.
Fix your inner game, and your outer game will run like a finely tuned sports car.
Ignore it, and you'll have constant breakdowns and you'll experience the ongoing fear of being stranded and alone by the side of the road of your own life...
Do you ever feel like women have way more control over you than you'd like them to have...?
Do you ever feel like your emotions and your willpower were just out of control - and this was sabotaging your ability to get a girl interested in you...?
Do you ever feel like no matter what stuff you use - pickup lines, and seduction techniques, and all those techniques that other guys used - you still have some element of you that is still not quite "dialed in" ... and if you could tweak this one part of you - you'd really see a lot more improvement with your dating life...?
How Would You Like To Feel Like You're
100 Feet Tall And Made Out of Solid Diamond...?
Most therapists will keep you "on the couch" for years before you make any significant progress in terms of your inner game and self-esteem, much less any progress with women.
If you've tried EVERYTHING before to get you out of the situation you're in, and you just can't get your situation fixed, or figure out where to go next, this program is definitely for you...
If you feel out of control in your dating life, unable to get a grip on things, or you feel like your situation is hopeless, or that you're trapped or doomed, this program will show you exactly how to get your hands back on the steering wheel of your life...
If you've had a problem dealing with rejection from women, or getting over a tough breakup, this program will give you the clarity you seek, and the ability to raise your self-esteem over this hurdle with ease...
If you've ever dealt with depression, or just getting bummed over your situation, you're going to learn the secrets to turning on your emotional control mechanisms, and snap out of any funk in just a few minutes...
If you've been having problems with your social life, just making friends and being a fun guy that people want to hang out with, I'll teach you the bottom-line skills you must have to destroy your anxiety and increase your social network ginormously...
This Is Your Inner Game - Version 2.0 Through Version 2000...
Here are some of the other things this Ultimate Inner Game system will show you...
Understand the complete inner workings of your mind and your thinking - so that you can get "under the hood" and pimp your inner game ride to do what you want to do...
How to re-write the conscious and subconscious "rules" that you obey - most of the time without ever questioning them - even when they're no longer working for you - so that you can redirect your destiny and achieve what you want with women - and with every area of your life...
One simple hidden technique that takes 10 seconds and will instantly flush away your guilt, anger, resentment, frustration, disappointment, fear, or any negative emotion...
Learn how the 7 Domains of your self-esteem works - in complete detail - so that you can control the level of your self-confidence and keep it consistent...
The secrets your therapist will never tell you about that will get you stronger inner game in days instead of months and years... (if more guys knew about this, therapy would be dead...)
Do you feel like shyness is keeping you from meeting women, making new friends, and experiencing life? You'll learn about the different kinds of shyness, how they work, and step-by-step instructions on how to break through the shyness barrier in your life...
How to get the right parts of your brain working TOGETHER instead of as enemies, so that you can stop second-guessing yourself, and find your inner source of courage and passion...
How to jump-start your social circle of friends - in just 3 weeks...
The Truth about "manifestation" - and how "The Secret" misleads and tricks most guys...
Learn the 5 Domains and the 7 Skills of emotional intelligence, and identify where you need to develop most to master yourself and your feelings...
How to master the the 3 Essential Skills of "state change" so that you can instantly get in a better mood, and motivate yourself to do things you normally find difficult or impossible to accomplish...
Why slow changes you make are harder and take more energy than the quick changes...
The 14 Steps of Emotional and Self-Mastery and the 6 Needs we all share - When you learn these, you'll be able to unlock any person's motivation and drive...
How to completely turn off that "worry voice" in your head that keeps you living in anxious fear...
7 Steps to defuse and manage your fear and keep from reacting automatically to social challenges...
Want to learn practical, simple steps to getting peace of mind and lowering your stress level that doesn't take a lifetime to learn? You'll get them in sections 4, 8, and 10...
How to recognize your unhealthy thinking when it raises its voice, and how to prevent it from wrecking your approaches and conversations with women...
How to ask your woman for things without sounding like a needy wuss-bag...
How to fix up the holes in your self-confidence so you can interact with women on a strong and confident footing...
The 6 Critical Steps to plan and create real lasting change in your life - from your identity to your habits to your beliefs and way of thinking...
The easiest methods for relaxing, clearing your head, getting out of your head, and getting back in the moment with women - or anyone... With step-by-step, real-time guidance through the exercises...
How you inherited bad mental habits and trains of thought, and how to finally get rid of them without a bunch of therapy and painful self-analysis...
Simple exercises to identify the places in your life where you are letting women control you instead of taking the confident LEAD of your own life...
Do you ever find yourself making decisions to make people like you more, or just to not look bad? Here are some simple techniques to clear your head and get back to the REAL and authentic you that earns their respect and admiration...
Do you find that women don't seem to be interested in more dates with you after your first date? Here's why... and it's one of the easiest parts of your inner game to get tuned up...
4 Principles of Thought that show you how feelings, moods, and emotions work... Once you understand how this part of you works, you'll be able to stop reacting or feeling influenced by women and social pressure...
The big mistakes men make with their "panic" and anxiety attacks - and how to use the emotional energy to build self-confidence...
How to make any "technique" you've learned work better, faster, and longer than any of the guys who just learn "the words..."
How to take "rejection" and "failure" situations with women and turn them around into something that improves your self-confidence and self-esteem - without cheezy affirmations...
How to remove the negative habits you've developed that end up destroying your relationships...
Ever wonder how some pathetic guys have no problems meeting women? Why smart guys have more trouble with women than the "dumb" guys seem to...
How to get past the need for memorized "lines" and "routines" with women so that you can project your powerful confidence and masculine identity to create GENUINE attraction...
Learn the simple technique to handle the guys that try to make a fool out of you and tool you...
How to get past your approach anxiety with women - or any social group -so that you can quickly and easily walk up to any woman you see and start a conversation, without fear or nervousness...
How to avoid the women with issues and baggage and find the women with healthy psychological patterns - so you can stop going through the torture of relationships that are doomed before they begin...
Here is the simple architecture of your inner "self-defense" mechanisms and how they work - and how they work in other people so you can get past all the dysfunction and shields...
You have Inner "Lie" Mechanisms get in your way of experiencing life and I will explain how our brains naturally deceive us if we're not careful - and how you can tell when your mind is tricking you...
Take a complete self-esteem inventory to figure out where you are right now with your own level of self-confidence...
10 Secret Power Tips for handling the rollercoaster ride of your own self-confidence, and smoothing out the ride...
There's a powerful 2-step system to manage the "evidence" you get from the outside world, and when you cultivate this skill - as I will show you in this section - you'll learn how to break old disempowering beliefs and install new ones...
You'll learn the 5 Power Questions that immediately re-frame your experience and turn any situation back to your control - no more anger and frustration when life doesn't go your way...
The Secret 2-Step Method and the Three Questions that enable you to channel your energies to the right parts of your life - and these are questions you are automatically answering every minute of every day without even knowing it!
Simple psychological tricks to destroy your anger and anxiety and never be a
slave to your emotions again...
A common misunderstanding that locks almost all men into a state of low self-esteem their whole life… and it's completely simple to break out of when you know the secret...
How to turn your negative emotions and energy into positive self-esteem - without having to act or "fake it 'til you make it..."
How to break free of needy, insecure "little boy" behaviors that scare away women, and finally take on your Alpha Masculinity...
How to get past the old patters of obsession, anger, frustration, anxiety, and negative states that keep your game with women from really moving forward...
How to change the parts of you that you want to change, without feeling like you're being fake or deceptive with women... or double-crossing yourself...
How to stop beating yourself up over and over again for things that are in the past, and start to recognize and focus on your future...
The 11 Mind Traps that create social anxieties, and how to get past this with simple secrets that anyone can learn and use in just minutes...
How to look approachable, be friendly, start a conversation, cultivate strong friendships, and stop feeling "weird" around other people, or that you are the "different" one...
How to manifest a strong and confident body language, without going further up in your head...
How to have the confidence to walk up and talk to anyone, anywhere, without worrying about approval or being rejeted... No more inferiority complex!
How to be your own life coach - rely on yourself more and be more emotionally resourceful - with the skill to solve your own problems and be your own best friend...
How to "talk yourself down" from your bouts of anxiety and fear so that you can kill that voice in your head that's keeping you from doing what you know you need to do...
How to overcome a woman's tests without feeling like the rug was just pulled out from under your feet, staying grounded and calm...
How to avoid freaking out with a woman when things get sexually charged - and especially when you REALLY like her...
How to control your state and leverage the "Aikido" principle of moods so that you never get stuck in the downward spiral of depression ever again...
How to put yourself in the right state so that you keep conversations going with ease and never have to deal with that "shy and quiet" part of you making things boring and awkward ever again...
How to put yourself fully in the driver's seat of your own life so that you get the results from your life that you want - financially, sexually, spiritually, socially...
How to awaken your masculinity to become a complete and whole Alpha MAN...
How to naturally jack up and increase your mental, emotional, and physical energy every day by engaging your natural drives
How to handle negative self-talk and stress in your life, with cool, calm composure...
How to impress anyone you meet with the solidity of your character and the power of your presence and confidence...
How to "switch off" the negativity in your thinking and substitute it with more realistic "positive" thinking - without coming across like an annoying happy dancing monkey...
How to stop ruminating over past events and the bad things that happen to you so that you can free your mind up to new accomplishments and opportunities...
How to figure out which "inner voice" you can pay attention to, and which one you should ignore... And how to stop over-analyzing everything...
Have you been learning a lot of "seduction techniques," but now you feel like you've lost touch with your real authentic personality? Learn how to get back to your natural self...
How to get rid of that constant feeling of being watched and judged by other people when you go out and interact with women - or with anyone!
How to win friends and influence people - for the new millenium... updated strategies to increase your personal charisma and social intelligence...
How to adapt to changing social situations on the fly - so that you can be a social chameleon...
How you are 'blinded' to your own inner game issues, and how to take off the blindfold that's keeping you in the dark...
The principle of compounding energy in your inner game - how slight improvements create massive increases in energy and results...
The secret "universal mistake" in thinking that all humans make - and when you learn this, you'll immediately know why your thinking gets in your way of confidence...
How your moods and your natural need to worry and "stress out" get in your way and become addictive traps...
Shortcut through therapy - a quick and easy breakdown of the 3 environments that shaped your personality, and how to break free from the negative limitations of your upbringing...
The simple physiological and biological explanation of your mind's most basic automatic defenses and systems, and how you are naturally wired to succeed - with the right inner game skills...
Why "just do it" and "be confident" is the worst kind of advice - and why you are beating your head against a wall when it comes to self-improvement - and how to tear down that wall...
How and why your habits seem so hard to break or change, and the secret method you can leverage change to make breakthrough changes in your habits in just a short time...
Why we get "stuck" in relationships that seem to be going nowhere when we see opportunity all around us...
Why therapy and digging into your past not only doesn't work to help you change or "get over" issues, but in fact makes them even worse - and how to avoid this "Therapy Trap..."
Learn the blueprint of how your mind works, and the three simple parts that make up your identity... and how to override those automatic impulses you get that seem to control your behavior against your will...
The Six Questions to understand about your parents and how they brought you up so you can reconcile your past and get on with your future...
How to recognize and stop your natural mental bad habits from starting, and how to get rid of the hesitation and anxiety that your negative thinking creates...
The single most important attitude and element of inner game that a man must master - and how it impacts your sexual success, as well as every part of your life - from the car you drive to the women you date... AND the single most important factor that can shift the balance of power...
The 5 Useless insights of the pickup community - including the "Magic Bullet" Myth, and how you avoid falling for bad advice when you hear it...
How your mind works, how your mental "automatic pilot" functions - and how you can re-program yourself for the behaviors you want... as well as get rid of bad habits that seem to stick with you forever...
The reason why most self-help programs don't seem to work, and how you can get past this trap so that you can enable yourself for change and happiness...
Your "Outrage script" - The one mindset that holds you back from success with women, as well as almost every other area where you aren't living up to your full potential, and how to shut it down...
The 3 Hidden Pickup Artist Traps - How a lot of the "attraction" and "seduction" information can hold you back from a healthy and natural 'vibe' with women - and keep you from a positive social network...
The 2 Automatic Questions - the natural interpretation drive of your mind, and how you can get much better results in your life by taking control of these questions...
The "Mistake" Rule of Life - The one kind of mistake you need to make about yourself to realize your full potential - and the ONE conviction you must develop...
Learn the 10 Metaprograms that determine your results and your mind-model, and how you can use these to reach faster and stronger rapport with women in any conversation...
The 4 Ways your expectations are turned into reality in your life, and what you need to do to short circuit the power of "self-fulfilling prophecies..."
The Power of Your 5 Stories - how your inner mental dialogue creates your experience, and how to "re-write" your story to create the ultimate driving force in your life... And how communicating this story to women will keep her glued to you...
The 3 Steps to gain control of your inner voice - and the 10 skills that give you the inner power of purpose, truth, and action...
The 4 Energy Types you must understand, control and increase to beat your negative addictions, and lead a healthy and positive life...
How to manage and leverage your natural emotional, mental, and physical cycles to get rid of negativity and fatigue...
How to avoid constantly beating yourself up over things you KNOW you should let go of...
How to keep yourself sane and stable in the dating world right now - so you don't have to work out all your inner "issues" first to get success with women...
Are You Ready For An Offer You Simply Can't Refuse...?
No One Has Ever Delivered THIS:
As you can see, I've packed in just about every conceivable part of inner game in this program. I left no stone unturned.
But in case I didn't put in what you need....
To be absolutely sure that the program meets your requirements, if you find a topic that has NOT been addressed in the program that you need, simply email me at my special Hotline To Carlos Link, and let me know - and I will CREATE additional content to make sure your questions get answered.
I can't possibly imagine that I haven't covered it all in this program, but if I missed something you need, you've got a solid guarantee that you will get it answered.
How's THAT for an offer you can't refuse?
I'm Adding In A Special Bonus...
There's one more area of a man's inner game that he must have taken care of or he will not succeed over the short - or the long term. And that area is:
COACHING AND GUIDANCE.
Wouldn't it be great to have the ability to "coach" yourself? To be your own voice of support and guidance, rather than always having to rely on new programs every few months? Look, I spend a lot of time focusing on helping guys and making each program I offer the definitive guide.
But it's also easy to be lured into buying more and more programs just in case you missed anything.
Well, first of all, you won't miss anything here. This is my last program on self-confidence that I intend to create.
But even more important than this, you probably just need the ability to coach yourself.
There will be situations around the corner that you're not prepared for. That's how life is.
But wouldn't it be great if you could just change your own strategy - all by yourself - to tackle any unforseen challenges?
Wouldn't it be great to be your own Life-Coach?
Well, in this program, I decided to include my special program on self-coaching and creating your own life strategies. I was going to create a separate program for this, but I decided it made more sense to include it here for you.
You'll learn:
How to balance your own needs with others in your life so that you can be truly generous and giving...
How to be "selfish" in the right way that gives you more energy, creativity, and get past your own limitations...
The 10 Areas of Self-Coaching to focus on, and how each of them contributes to your overall confidence and sense of power...
How to build a "super reserve" of resources, energy, satisfaction, and get rid of all your worries and fears in the process...
How to manage your time realistically and simply so that you can finally throw out that day planner and get things done...
How to formulate a complete, day-to-day strategy for living that serves your passion and purpose, and the critical parts of a complete Alpha Man action plan...
And much more...
And ANOTHER Very Special Bonus...
There's another area of inner game that guys ask me about a lot, and I usually get it in the form of this question:
"How Can I Date Younger Women?"
Well, the game of dating younger women is actually a BIG Inner Game hurdle for a lot of guys. After all, if you're attracted to younger women (who isn't?) then you want to get rid of that feeling that you're a "creep," or some kind of "dirty old man."
Let me assure you, dating younger women is not only a good thing, it's easier than most guys realize. This is a huge inner game challenge for a lot of guys out there, and it's one that I completely cover in this 63 minute advanced Inner Game session.
You'll learn:
Why guys have such a hard time with both their inner AND outer game when it comes to approaching and getting girls that are younger than them - and what to do about it...
How to open a conversation with a younger woman, as well as What you should talk about with younger women with my "media walking" method...
What women are really looking for when it comes to age, and how you can easily "bypass" any objections to age a woman might have...
My solid gold reframe letter that will change your thinking instantly as to the perception of women's age and how old is "tool old" for a guy...
How to handle the social stigma of age differences between men and women, and why certain cultures consider it "wrong" or "inappropriate" for an older man with a younger woman...
Learn the advantages to dating (and perhaps marrying) a younger woman - as well as the
